Feedback is our weekly column of bizarre stories, implausible advertising claims, confusing instructions and more
An over-egged pudding
FACED with an ever-growing list of substances its citizens are ingesting to get high, the UK government has decided it would be easier to ban every psychoactive substance by default, and instead create a list of mind-altering chemicals that British subjects are permitted to consume, such as tea (20 June).
Advertisement
Despite the government’s own Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs (ACMD) writing to the Home Secretary to warn that this is “unenforceable” (18 July), the bill has now progressed to the stage where MPs can scrutinise the text and make amendments. MP David Amess has been to co-chair the committee in charge of this process.
Many will of course recall that Amess has a history on drug reform, as he was fooled into condemning the fictitious drug “cake” on the satirical TV show .
Feedback thinks it’s a shame Amess is unlikely to repeat his colourful description of legal highs as “yellow death bullets” and their consumers as “custard gannets”. But who better to chair a nonsensical bill than the man who campaigned against a non-existent drug?
“We will ensure that we insert what we want to insert… while at the same time having a blanket ban.” Mike Penning squares the circle of the
Dodgy drugs disclaimed
SPEAKING of non-existent drugs, Home Secretary Theresa May unveiled the latest addition to what promises to be a very long list of exemptions to the Psychoactive Substances bill: homeopathic medicine.
Perhaps because it is neither a substance, not any more psychoactive than a sugar tablet, the quack remedy was singled out in a by way of refuting the suggestion that the bill’s definition of psychoactive substances was too broad.
The water cure will continue to be regulated under laws governing medicines, meaning the UK is heading toward the peculiar state where ineffective therapies are enshrined in medicines legislation, while tea is an exempted substance under drugs legislation.
Learned gentlemen
BROWSING , Feedback discovers from the second reading of the bill that £180,556 has been spent on education programmes about new psychoactive substances. We can’t help but wonder if any of it was spent in Westminster.
Heisenberg’s hash
MORE drugs trials: writing at , Deej Sullivan reports on the quantum state of cannabis. GW Pharmaceuticals was allowed to grow the plant under licence to create Sativex, a tincture to treat the symptoms of multiple sclerosis.
However, cannabis is regulated as a Schedule 1 drug in the UK, a category that defines it as having . Rather than cut through this Gordian knot, a new loop was added: cannabis is a Schedule 1 substance, except when it is mixed with alcohol and peppermint flavouring to make Sativex. Only then does the active ingredient have therapeutic value, moving it to Schedule 4.
A Class of one’s own
MORE quantum states: Feedback recalls that previously, the Misuse of Drugs Act 1971 made cannabis oil a Class A substance, carrying penalties for possession on par with those for heroin and cocaine.
However, so long as the cannabis oil remained in the leaf, it was a more benignly viewed Class C substance. A subsequently moved all forms of cannabis to Class B. A compromise, of sorts?
Doubly determined
OUR own ban, on nominative determinism, proves no less fallible. Sam Molloy writes: “I know we aren’t supposed to mention the N and D words, but we may have justification for an exemption here.” He directs our attention to the line “Mike Penning, minister of state for policing and justice, has written…” (10 October).
Sam wonders: “Is this first time that not one but two alternative career activities have been nominatively determined in the one sentence?”
Manning the barricades
REPORTING from the front lines in the battle for equality: Warren Bebbington, Vice Chancellor for the University of Adelaide, writes to his colleagues to announce he is chairing Male Champions of Change, an effort to “address the gender imbalance in senior roles across the University”.
Bebbington informs us that the panel is “comprised of a group of senior male staff, created to see how we might address the issue of improving women’s representation in leadership”. Good luck boys!
Call the midwife
FINALLY, Newsweek announces somewhat superfluously that ““. Expectant couples, we are told, are travelling to spiritual retreats in Hawaii and the Black Sea so that “unpaid and untrained” cetacean midwives can help deliver their offspring.
Newsweek notes that there are countless other ocean dwellers, from bacteria to sharks, that may wish to bond with mother and child in less than idyllic ways. Nonetheless, Feedback thinks that if they prove their mettle, we may have found the answer to the UK’s shortage of nursing staff.