91ɫÇéƬ

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¹󷡷¡¶ٵþ´¡°䰭’S admiration for those who participate in international standards
negotiations knows few bounds. The combination of mind-numbing technical detail
and sometimes vicious diplomatic horse-trading calls for a very special set of
abilities. But we have doubts about an announcement from the International
Organization for Standardization, better known as ISO. Its Technical Management
Board decided earlier this year not to proceed with a Standard for Occupational
91ɫÇéƬ and Safety. Instead, it is standardising personal financial planning.

So if shambolic health and safety measures mean your job could leave you with
a disability, you may wish to consult a private sickness insurance adviser. That
person should one day have a certificate on their wall proudly declaring
compliance with ISO 666:2012.

Individual votes on such proposals are not publicised. Feedback notes that
the H&S initiative came from the British Standards Institution and that on
personal finance from the American National Standards Institute. What may this
say about national priorities?

ANYONE conducting a medical trial has to say when and why the period over
which each person is studied comes to an end. We were struck by the
socio-economic candour in this description of a survey of over 30 000 asthma
patients in Saskatchewan whose cases were reviewed to see how effective inhaled
corticosteroids really are.

“We followed subjects until the end of 1997, their 55th birthday, death,
emigration, or termination of health insurance coverage.” The article about the
trial, in The New England Journal of Medicine, concludes that using the
inhalers reduces death from asthma. It is silent on the hazards of losing your
health insurance. Consult your personal financial planner now.

THE notion that the giant squid that Maria Gonzales found in the Mediterranean
(New Scientist, 2 September, p 25) was a rare and puzzled
beast that had somehow lost its way, having turned to starboard through the
Strait of Gibraltar instead of to port towards the Bay of Biscay, is comforting.
But is it really so rare? A colleague of Feedback’s has chanced upon an early
sighting. Late in the second century BC, the poet Antipater of Sidon wrote
that

the deep-sea calamary as long as eight fathoms, smeared over with foam and torn by the coral,
was found spreadeagled here on the seashore by Hermonax, when about his usual business
of fisherman, hauling his usual catches.

That’s Tony Harrison’s translation, anyway. Feedback’s proof-readers will
probably strike if we dig out the original. Hermonax hung that 15-metre sea
monster out to dry as an offering to the gods. We hope Gonzales took the
equivalent modern precaution—an insurance policy.

BINGO! Tony Lang sends us labels from a recent purchase which pretty much
cover the field for illogicality. On the outside we read that the shippers
“maintain a recycling policy, and re-use as much packaging as possible. The
contents of the box may not be as described on the interior!!!”

So Lang got a fuzzy glow of apparent eco-friendliness as well as the sharp
excitement of opening a mystery parcel. “Average contents one,” he read on
delving inside. Fortunately, he struck lucky and his package contained precisely
1.000 pieces of merchandise. “Do not swallow,” he was then told—a warning
which, as he notes, would seem “a bit unnecessary” on a very large wooden emu
puppet.

THANKS too to Alain Head, who sent a soft, rubbery tennis ball made by
Squeez’a’balls for us “to throw around the office”. Head was also kind enough to
draw our attention to the warning on the packet, which cautioned that the ball,
a close approximation to a sphere 50 millimetres in diameter, is “not suitable
for children due to small parts/sharp edges”.

READER Patrick Groark and his wife Linda recently visited the Eimeo Hotel in
the Mackay region of Queensland for lunch. Linda had reason to visit the ladies’
room and noticed that on the door were two signs. One said “Ladies”. The other,
in an unfortunate juxtaposition, warned, “Slippery when wet”.

SO IT’S TRUE what they say about bran products. Reader Alice Myerson noticed
this piece of wisdom on the packet of Kellogg’s popular 91ɫÇéƬwise Bran Flakes:
“You only get out what you put in.”

Meanwhile Kellogg’s Coco Pops have been running a promotion with video games
company Electronic Arts. The cereal package proudly claims that the combination
“will leave your fingers aching and your joystick shaking”. We’re not too sure
what this means, but it sounds like something to avoid.

TOO MANY readers will have received spam e-mail from a company offering what
it calls Detective Software that “allows you to find out everything you ever
wanted to know about your friends, family, your boss, anyone”. This software is
apparently so amazing that it will even “track anyone’s Internet activity”.

But just how efficient can it be if, as the spam claims, “you can do it all
in the privacy of your own home without anyone ever knowing”?