TRAINS in Britain may be halted because of leaves on the track or the wrong
kind of snow, but surely nothing like that could interrupt the clockwork
precision of Japanese railways, could it?
Well, yes, it could. According to a report in the Yomiuri newspaper,
an express train north of Tokyo was brought to a halt last week when 鈥渃lusters
of millipedes鈥 tried to cross a 300-metre section of track. The train 鈥渟quashed
out their bodily fluids, which apparently acted as a lubricant, making the
wheels slip鈥, the paper says. It took two and a half hours to resume services
and hundreds of passengers had their journeys delayed.
A spokesman for East Japan Railways said the millipede rampage may have been
caused by mass breeding because of a heatwave. In other words, by the wrong kind
of weather. Sounds familiar?
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WHAT is it about the word 鈥渁ntidote鈥?
For a start, 鈥淎sk Annie鈥, the website that provides household hints and tips
(www.betterbasics.com/ askannie/cleaning3.html), tells us that 鈥淰inegar
is the anecdote for a number of hard water problems, including greying laundry.
Add 1 cup of white distilled vinegar to the rinse cycle . . . 鈥
Then, a colleague鈥檚 young son was talking to his Dad about scorpion venom the
other day. He said that he had read that 鈥渁n antelope can cure the sting鈥.
IF YOU are still excited by the prospect of finding more planets out there in
space, you might want to keep in mind some recent announcements from the
International Astronomical Union. It seems astronomers are having trouble
keeping up their records鈥攁nd their enthusiasm.
At 1615 hours precisely on 3 August a press release went out informing us
that astronomers had found a 鈥渘ew extrasolar planet鈥. At 1624 came a shocking 鈥3
new extrasolar planets鈥. And at 1646, 鈥6 new extrasolar planets鈥.
A harassed Geoffrey Marcy, team leader from the three-planet project and
professor of astronomy at the University of California at Berkeley, said:
鈥淲e鈥檙e now at a stage where we are finding planets faster than we can
investigate them and write up the results.鈥
鈥淧lanet-hunting,鈥 he added wryly , 鈥渉as morphed from the marvellous to the
尘耻苍诲补苍别.鈥
HAVE you heard of stable bonded oxygen molecules? No? Unless you count the
oxygen in the air we breathe, neither had Feedback until we came across an
advert for 鈥淎erobic Oxygen鈥 in a magazine called Best of 91色情片.
Multiple sclerosis, asthma, malaria, Parkinson鈥檚, cancers, chronic fatigue
syndrome, influenza, eczema and many other diseases have 鈥渞eportedly responded
favourably鈥 to this wonderful stuff, according to the manufacturers in their
marketing spiel. What鈥檚 more, the molecules in Aerobic Oxygen 鈥渨ill not release
themselves until the body has need for them, therefore they travel through the
body in a stable form鈥.
Even if these claims are true, Feedback wonders why anyone would buy this
stuff when there is so much stable bonded oxygen all around us鈥攅nough in
each breath, in fact, to fulfil all the body鈥檚 needs.
On the next page of the magazine, however, there is another advert, this time
marketing a product for improving eye health. The Visionace nutrient capsules
from Vitabiotics apparently 鈥渉elp maintain healthy eyes and vision鈥 and the
鈥渇ormula鈥 includes 鈥渋mportant antioxidant nutrients鈥 such as natural
carotenoids, vitamin C and bioflavonoids.
Matter colliding with antimatter is supposed to mean complete annihilation.
What frightful health effects might befall any one taking Aerobic Oxygen at the
same time as antioxidant capsules?
IT IS hard enough deciding what 鈥渢ruth鈥 means in science. It鈥檚 even more
difficult when the philosophers join in. What鈥檚 it going to be like when lawyers
get involved?
The Western Fuels Association recently filed a lawsuit in the US state of
Wyoming against the Turning Point Project and its members, which are US
environmental organisations. Western Fuels is an organisation that supplies coal
to the power plants of its members, which are electric utilities. It also
publishes the World Climate Report. And it wants to stop Turning Point
publishing an advertisement which lists some of the adverse effects that
environmentalists predict for global warming.
In its complaint Western Fuels states, among much else, that: 鈥淚n fact,
scientific observations reveal that the impact of carbon dioxide emissions on
our environment is both modest and benign.鈥
We wish the court all the best.
PERHAPS Timotei, makers of shampoo and celebrators of all things natural,
should take the trouble to employ copywriters who know a bit about how nature
works.
On its website, under the heading 鈥淣ature Nuggets鈥, Timotei extols the
鈥渘ourishing and energising properties of honey鈥 with this sentence:
鈥淭he mother bees only remove the best pollen during pollination so honey is
brimming with antioxidants, vitamins and minerals.鈥
Yes. Well. Sort of.
